Feeling Lost in Life is the “Midlife Funk” That So Many Women Experience

This is the “midlife funk” that so many women complain about. It can present as an existential crisis that makes you feel lost in life, wondering if your life is on the wrong track. You’re lacking motivation, feel aimless and stuck. You’re floundering and can’t figure out what to do about it. You might not even recognize yourself anymore.

This is why I think it’s so important to reframe menopause as a spiritual awakening, because that’s exactly what it is. It’s an opportunity for women to shift the focus inward and rediscover themselves. Every woman over 50 that I’ve worked with has experienced some aspect of feeling lost in life during menopause. It’s always the catalyst for discoveries and transformations that lead to their soul-fulfilling, highest expansion.

What to Do When You’re Feeling Lost in Life

Here are tips and strategies I use to help my clients reconnect with themselves and find the vitality and purpose in their lives.

Evaluate all aspects of your life

Use the Midlife Compass Tool to evaluate all aspects of your life. It’s so eye-opening to see the visual representation of what parts of your life you’re really struggling with, as well as the parts of your life that are actually great! So many clients are surprised to see that, even in the midst of feeling lost and aimless, they are really doing great in some parts of their lives.  It’s important to acknowledge what’s working, what you’re doing well, especially when you’re feeling lost or stuck in other aspects that are really bringing you down.

Identify your desires

It’s so common for midlife women to be disconnected from what brings them joy. We’ve spent so many years focused outward, on other people’s needs and our career goals, that we’ve shut ourselves off from our own emotions. I used to offer workshops based on The Desire Map to help women identify their core desired feelings and then create ways to experience them regularly. I highly recommend the book as a way to help you move from feeling lost to taking small steps to reconnect with yourself.

Create sacred self-care practices

Build in practices that raise your vibration and help you reconnect with yourself. This might include meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, dance. Schedule time to pamper yourself in whatever way is soothing to you. That might be a quiet bath with candles, or reading a book, or walking in the woods.

When you’re feeling lost, journal

Journaling has so many proven benefits for mental health. I believe it’s also a sacred self-care practice, but it needs to mentioned on its own. It’s that important. Especially if you’re feeling lost in life and experiencing a midlife funk. The act of writing every day about what you’re experiencing will help you understand the complexities of it, and can ultimately help you discover ways to move forward.

Identify limiting beliefs

This is the one that’s the hardest to do on your own, but it’s also the most important. Limiting beliefs are on repeat in our brains, so unless we have someone else point out that they aren’t true, it can be hard to identify them as limiting beliefs.  This is why coaching is so powerful. This is what I do with my clients. If you want to try to do this on your own, this is where your journal becomes a powerful tool for you. Read through some of your previous entries with fresh eyes and ask yourself, “Is this really true or is this a limiting belief?”

Use affirmations to empower yourself

Just as limiting beliefs are on repeat in our brains, you can choose to create your own statements on repeat. When you create positive, affirming statements and intentionally repeat them, you can shift your attitude, outlook, vibrational level, and create real change in your life. This is the power of manifesting. To make it effective though, you need to mindfully create or use affirmation statements that you can believe are true and that will uplift you. Ideally, you create these statements to specifically target the limiting beliefs you’ve been repeating. When I coach women through this process, we create specific affirmation statements to counteract the limiting beliefs. Feel into the statement before you decide to use it. The magic that makes it work is whether you feel that it is true and possible for you.

The post What To Do If You’re Feeling Lost In Life appeared first on Cara Moulds.

Does that sound familiar? If so, these journaling prompts are designed for you. They include deep questions to help you get unstuck, some self-love journaling prompts, and powerful coaching questions to escalate your momentum. 

Why Journaling Prompts Work for Women Over 50

There’s so much research that shows the benefits of journaling for improvements in mental health and wellbeing. This article from Positive Psychology details a lot of researched benefits.

Study findings suggest that accepting our feelings is linked to better psychological health and positive therapeutic outcomes, including improved moods and reduced anxiety.

And this is where journaling can help. It can promote acceptance–and mindful acceptance in particular–which is a valuable and effective way of getting unstuck, freeing ourselves to move forward (Forsyth & Eifert, 2016).

Many women over 50 experience a midlife funk while going through menopause. They feel stuck and don’t see a way out of it. Answering journaling prompts reduces their stress, helps them understand and make sense of what’s really bothering them, builds confidence and a deeper self-awareness, and helps them to connect to their own inner guidance. 

Plus, journaling can also reduce depression and anxiety, boost immune function, help cultivate gratitude, and improve memory. (https://www.reflection.app/blog/benefits-of-journaling)

Ways to Journal

I’m a huge believer in the power of writing by hand, especially for therapeutic journaling. There’s some research that writing by hand activates different parts of the brain than typing. This video discusses the benefits of handwriting for learning, memory, and idea generation. There is something magic that happens when you journal by hand, especially when you’re trying to connect with your inner self. 

Don’t get caught up worrying about fancy journals. Sometimes an expensive blank notebook is too intimidating for you to start writing in. If you’re going to worry about that, just get a spiral notebook, or use printer paper hole-punched in a binder. 

Find somewhere comfortable and private for these journaling sessions so that it feels like a sacred ritual. Experiment with different times of day to find what works best for you to make it a habit. 

Journaling Prompts for Women Over 50

Get Unstuck Journaling Prompts

1. What is the story you’re telling yourself that is keeping you feeling stuck? What limiting beliefs are embedded in this story?
2. What are the benefits for you being stuck? How is it serving you?
3. What do you fear when you think about becoming unstuck?
4. What one small step could you take towards becoming unstuck in the next hour?

Self-Love Journaling Prompts

1. List five things you’re good at. How do you feel when you do these things?
2. Describe how your life experiences positively and negatively influenced your view of yourself now. Include childhood and adult experiences. How have you grown since then?
3. List all the things that make you happy. Include people, activities, possessions, and ideas.
4. How would your best friend describe you to a complete stranger?
5. Describe your 10 greatest accomplishments so far – big or small. 
6. What is your favorite personality trait? How does having that trait help you?
7. Describe your beliefs and values and how they make you a good person.
8. List 15 things that happened in your life that make you smile.
9. List 15 things you’ve done or survived that make you feel proud. 
10. How are you making the world a better place? List the positive contributions you make to the world and to the people in your life. 
11. What do your friends admire about you? What do you admire about yourself?
12. When you are being your most authentic self, what are you doing today? What mantras and affirmations can you use to stay in this alignment?
13. What loving words can you speak to yourself today? What habits can you create or change to help you honor and love yourself?

Powerful Coaching Questions to Help You Move Forward

1. If you could only change one thing about your life, what would it be?
2. How can you bring more creativity, fun, and joy into your life?
3. If you were to consider what’s POSSIBLE instead of what’s PROBABLE, how would that change things?
4. What are you tolerating that needs to change in order for you to move forward?
5. Who are you now? Who would you like to become?
6. What does it mean to you to have a full and rich life?
7. How can you celebrate yourself when you achieve a goal?
8. Imagine that you’re 90 years old, happy, healthy, sitting in your rocking chair. What advice would you give yourself right now?

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Journaling can help because getting things out of your head and down on paper provides a totally different perspective.

There’s no right or wrong way to journal. In fact, there are many different types of journaling practices that can be fun to try. The morning pages style is great for first thing in the morning. Sometimes I capture dreams I might not remember. Sometimes I’m just complaining about the same thing morning after morning, which ultimately leads me to take some action on it.

But there are other styles of journaling, like answering prompts, loop-journaling, manifestation/visualizing journaling, the mind-mosaic, and more.

Three Ways Journaling Helps Your Mental Health 

1. Solve complex challenges. When you write about an issue, the solution for a complex challenge often suddenly becomes obvious. This is because the act of writing can get you in a state of flow, and from that place your higher self can channel ideas through you. It’s like being with a great coach who knows how to hold space for you, knowing that the answers are within you. It’s always surprising to see people state solutions that seem so obvious during a coaching session, even though they’ve been struggling with the issue on their own. Journaling can help you do this on your own, if you develop a regular practice.
2. Increase clarity. One of the best times to lean on your journal is when you’re filled with uncertainty about what action to take. Many things become clearer when you can get them down in writing. This was certainly true for me when I was going through the emotional rollercoaster of menopause. Journaling is the first thing I suggest for my clients when they are experiencing the existential angst,  hormonal changes, empty-nesting, aging parents, and life purpose/career issues that all seem to hit at the same time.
3. Validate your progress. Sometimes we feel like we’re spinning our wheels and not making genuine progress. When you’re feeling this way, go back and review your old journal entries. Or schedule a time once a week to intentionally journal about what you did get done that week. We tend to be our own worst critics and focus on our faults. Journaling can help us see objectively that we are actually making progress, even if they are baby steps. Because baby steps add up to huge strides.

How to Start a Journal

You might envision creating a journal in a one of those blank books you can pick up in the bookstore. While that might have a romantic feel to it, it’s really more important to pick something that you love and that feels good to write in. I can’t tell you how many ‘fancy’ journals I’ve purchased but then I don’t like the way the paper feels to write on, or the book doesn’t lay flat.

The most important thing about getting started journaling by hand is to choose something that inspires you and doesn’t intimidate you. Don’t buy a fancy journal if you don’t want to ruin the first blank page.  Start with a cheap spiral notebook. Or use printer paper hole-punched for a binder, which is what I did for years.

While I’m a huge believer in writing by hand, a lot of people prefer journaling by typing. If you can type as fast as you can think, then this can also have the same benefits. You can get started for free with Google Drive by creating a folder and opening a new doc each day. Or a lot of people love using Notion for daily journaling. Even my Momentum home page has a place for daily notes that can be used as a journal.

Make Journaling a Habit to Help Your Mental Health

Experiment with when to journal until you find the best fit for you. Not everyone likes to journal first thing in the morning. A lot of people like to journal before bed, thinking back over the day and preparing for the next day. That not only has mental health benefits but also improves your sleep quality.

Experiment with where to journal. You might like to create a sacred space with candles, crystals, soft music. You might like to be outside inspired by nature. Or maybe sitting at your desk on the computer. The key is to find a place that you can use every day so that you can create a habit.

Keep a list of journaling prompts or techniques to try with you in the beginning. This will help you when you feel writer’s block staring at a blank page and don’t know what to write about.

Get started with your journal today. It’s an activity that has little to no cost but provides numerous mental health benefits. You’ll see your clarity increase and have a much better sense of just how much progress you really are making in your life.

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Because at some point they hit an existential wall during menopause and started questioning the work they do, their life purpose, their legacy, their own identity and self-worth. The common question they all experience is “Who am I and why am I doing all this work that no longer fulfills me?” They’re feeling called to do something more meaningful, usually creative, but they can’t figure out what it is.

Self-Doubt Stops You

Have you experienced this during your 50’s? Maybe you feel disconnected from yourself and lose self-confidence. It’s a loop you get stuck in and self-doubt takes over. Maybe you start feeling regret about not living to your highest potential and scared that you might not be able to get unstuck on your own.  That’s when my clients usually find me. These are some of the strategies I use when coaching midlife women.

Follow These Steps if Self-Doubt is Stopping You

Identify the limiting beliefs around menopause and aging that cause self-doubt.

There are a lot of false, limiting beliefs women start to experience while going through menopause. The first big one is that menopause is the beginning of the end. The end of your body’s life-giving purpose, the end of your vitality, energy, charisma, sexuality, lifeforce. Whether it’s conscious or unconscious, these beliefs manifest themselves through thoughts like I’m too old for that, I feel invisible, I don’t have the energy anymore, There’s not enough time for that, I can’t learn to do something new, It’s too late to change careers or start a business or write a book, etc. You get the idea. There’s a symphony of self-talk that zaps your confidence and courage while reinforcing your fears and keeping you playing small. Your inner critic is large and in charge.

Change your self-talk with positive affirmations to stop self-doubt.

I’m a huge believer in using positive affirmations to create change in your life. Some people think affirmations are woo woo, but the reality is that all those statements above that were limiting beliefs are also affirmations!  They’re the things you are affirming to yourself on a regular basis.  You use affirmations all the time, it’s just that too often they are negative affirmations.

So the next step to overcome self-doubt is to identify the limiting beliefs you are playing in your head and intentionally create positive affirming statements that you know are true.  For example:

I’m too old to write a book. Is that true? No. What evidence do you have to prove that it’s not true? Tolkien didn’t publish until he was 45!! Annie Proulx was 57. So reframe the thought to Annie Proulx published her first book at 57 and so can I. Or I have the wisdom and talent to write a book right now.

Make a list of the negative thoughts you keep telling yourself and start looking for evidence that they are not true. This article is great inspiration for the accomplishments of women over 50!

Rediscover and reconnect to your desires. Find what lights you up!

When you can get inspired to follow your passions, it’s easier to overcome your fear and self-doubt. The problem for many women who feel stuck is that they no longer even know what they are passionate about. I used to do Desire Map workshops. It’s no surprise that so many midlife women feel disconnected from their desires! They’ve spent most of their adult lives focusing on their career and families with very little time for themselves. The Desire Map process is a great way to tap into your feelings and reconnect with what’s really important to you.

Journaling prompts is another great way to reconnect with what brings you joy.

Get support. Surround yourself with vibrant, energized women!

When you’re stuck, you usually can’t see the way out on your own. I know I can’t. I had spiritual coaches when I was struggling through menopause, business coaches to help launch this practice, and writing coaches to publish books. There are so many options for support now, with online programs that are convenient and affordable.

Minimize relationships that bring negativity. If you’re going to practice reframing your negative self-talk, don’t surround yourself with people who just want to complain.

Find books that are inspiring. Subscribe to YouTube channels or podcasts that are uplifting and that highlight stories about women over 50 living vibrant lives.

Overcome Self-Doubt to Follow Your Dreams

Following these steps will put you on a path of action. Once you break the cycle of limiting beliefs and tap into your desires to figure out what you really want to do, create a list of affirmations describing what it feels like to be living your regret-free, purposeful life. And surround yourself with cheerleaders!

The post Is Self-Doubt Stopping You From Living Your Dreams? appeared first on Cara Moulds.

Many people think journaling is like keeping a diary, but there is a fundamental difference. A diary is used to record external events in your life, but a journal is to record your thoughts, feelings, and ideas. The difference can be profound.

Consider these benefits of keeping a journal:

A journal creates focus.

Few of us really take the time to examine our lives. We commonly feel that we either don’t have the time, it won’t be beneficial, or it’s simply too uncomfortable. By regularly making an appointment with yourself to work with your journal, you can create the necessary focus to make positive changes in your life. Setting this intention and following through is powerful, especially during the turbulence so many midlife women experience.

A journal forces you to see the truth.

We’re all amazing at fooling and distracting ourselves, but when the truth is right before our eyes in black and white, there’s no place to hide. Midlife can be a haze of floundering around on an emotional rollercoaster. Seeing your daily thoughts, feelings, and struggles will help you see themes. Repeatedly writing about the same issues day after day can help you see what you need to address to feel better.

A journal releases stress.

It may seem counterproductive to write about your struggles, but there’s something cathartic about getting your thoughts on paper. Processing the emotions through writing helps to release them from your body. The act of writing with paper and pen can be grounding, helping to center and calm you. Reducing your stress also creates a more effective state of mind to help you get unstuck in midlife.

A journal provides a means of measuring progress and growth.

Have you ever seen a friend’s child and noticed how much they’ve grown? You wouldn’t notice the growth if you saw that child every day. Our own personal growth is similar. Small changes aren’t noticed when you’re exposed to them daily. Plus, part of being stuck in midlife is that you’re overwhelmed with feelings of not being good enough, being too old, listening to the inner critic in your head, and not knowing what you want. It can be easy to discount small steps and improvements you are experiencing. A journal provides a way of looking back and seeing just how far you’ve come.

Use your journal to get unstuck in midlife:

Record your thoughts about what you’re experiencing each day.

Find a quiet place. Create a sacred ritual for this practice. You might choose the same time or place each day at first to get started. What’s happening today? How does it make you feel? Take some time to really be honest with yourself and process your emotions.

Include both positive and negative experiences.

Many times, when women start journaling, a lot of the focus is on what’s NOT working. That’s ok. That’s part of the process. It’s very powerful to keep writing (complaining) about the same thing over and over again. Eventually, this will lead you to take some action (see below).  But even if you’re stuck and focusing on negative experiences in the beginning, try to end your session with at least one positive thing that happened each day. One thing that brings you joy or makes you smile.

Brainstorm action steps.

Eventually, you will see recurring themes that help you realize that you’re getting tired of just complaining about the same things over and over. This is when you can start to include brainstorming ideas about how you would like things to be different and what action steps you could take to move in that direction.

Choose small action steps that are simple and easy to accomplish.

A little momentum can be invaluable. It might be as simple as going for a 10 minute walk every day, or scheduling some alone time doing something you really want to do, or finding a good book to read, or listening to inspiring podcasts.

Record your progress.

Each day when you sit down to journal, make sure to record the actions that you took and how they make you feel. Remember to celebrate small steps and moments of joy each day. Remember, one of the benefits of journaling to get unstuck in midlife is being able to look back through and see the progress you’re making.

Look for dissonance.

Everyone is self-sabotaging to varying degrees. Journal through your thoughts and behaviors that are creating resistance to your progress. For example, if you want to lose 25 pounds but you’re eating ice cream every day, that’s a behavior that’s not supporting your goal. Your journal is one way to process through the thoughts and feelings you have, being honest with yourself while also not beating yourself up. Include self-loving kind language. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love.

Explore journaling prompts and coaching questions to help you get unstuck in midlife

If you’re intimidated by staring at a blank page, try journaling prompts, books for self-reflection with journaling prompts, or lists of coaching questions to use when you really want to dig deep on an issue. Many midlife women find it helpful to blend this type of journaling. If you’re feeling really stuck, use coaching questions.  If you want some inspiration, find a spiritual book with daily reflections to write about each morning.

It’s your journal, for your use only. There’s no right or wrong way to do it! Journaling is an effective way to create momentum to get unstuck in midlife. Even if you’re skeptical, give journaling a try for a few months to see if it starts to make you feel better.  You can start by downloading my free Affirmations Reflections with Journaling Prompts. These are designed for midlife women and will help you jumpstart a journaling practice.

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Lazy: disinclined to work or exertion. Or lethargic, tired, indifferent.  I think we’re all feeling a bit of that now after over two years of covid.

But I don’t want to be stuck there, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of letting it become a new normal. Especially for women over 50 going through menopause, because it turns out that ‘being lazy’ is, at its core, really about low self-esteem … which hits pretty much every woman over 50 at some point.

If you let laziness become the norm, you’re not engaging with your life, which can lead to even lower self-esteem. So learning to move beyond the urge to be lazy is a useful skill.

If you’re feeling lazy in midlife, use these tips to re-energize:

1. Think small. Create single action steps.

The thought of taking on a big project can be overwhelming. It’s easy to get stuck in analysis paralysis and not be able to start. And that can turn into just giving up on your goal/dream because you think it’s not achievable.

Break big projects into smaller tasks, single steps that you can focus on in little chunks of time. Use post-it notes on a kanban board or an online tool like Notion to help you manage big projects.

Think small for sticking with habits. Twyla Tharp in The Creative Habit shares the trick she used to get to the dance studio every morning, even when she didn’t feel like it. She didn’t think about the workout. She only thought about getting in the taxi. All she had to do was get dressed and get in a taxi. That’s how she followed through with her commitment to dance every morning.

2. If you’re feeling lazy in midlife, use a timer for small action steps.

The simple act of setting a timer for a specific period of time can provide the motivation and focus you need to re-energize. Using a timer frees your mind. After all, you know when you can stop, even before you get started. A timer turns your work into a race, and races are exciting.

The Pomodoro Technique is a strategy that uses 25 minutes chunks of time to work followed by a 5 minute break.

But to get started if you’re really in a slump, tell yourself you only have to ‘do the thing’ for 5 minutes.  You’re only going to walk for 5 minutes, write for 5 minutes, work on that project for 5 minutes, do housework for 5 minutes.

Play a game with yourself: Don’t Break the Chain. Writers use this all the time. Keep a calendar and mark every day you ‘do the thing’ for 5 minutes, and try not to miss a day. Decide on a reward if you make it for a whole week or month.

3. Think long-term. Remember your why.

Only focusing on the short-term is a common mistake. All the hard work comes first. It’s harder to get something in motion than to keep it in motion. Once you get going, it’s easier to keep going. Look ahead and keep the long-term benefits in mind. This will motivate you to get started.

4. Visualize the results you desire.

Take the time to imagine yourself enthusiastically getting your work completed. We’ve all heard about the benefits of visualization, but few of us actually do it. Try it before starting a new project. Create a vision board with photos and statements of your end result and how excited you are about it. Try it again when you feel laziness creeping into the picture. Write affirmation statements about how great you feel now that you’ve completed your project/achieved your goal. I’m a huge believer in dreaming big and manifesting through visualization.

5. Avoid procrastinating.

Procrastination is one manifestation of laziness. It’s true that getting started is the hardest part. Avoid thinking too much about the work at hand. Jump in and get started. You’ll find that continuing to work is much less challenging than getting started. Start quickly and you won’t have time to talk yourself out of it.

Maybe you’re a perfectionist procrastinator. Focus on your single task. And practice the motto: Done is better than perfect.

6. Stick to a single task. No multi-tasking.

Multi-tasking is distracting and overwhelming. The idea of dealing with multiple tasks is enough to trigger laziness. Stick to one task. (Use the pomodoro technique to get started. Start with only 10 minutes if you have to.) Turn off your phone and alerts so you can focus on your task without distraction. When it’s complete, you can move on to another. It’s a much more relaxing way to get things done.

7. Use self-talk to your advantage.

Instead of coming up with excuses to justify being lazy in midlife, use the voice in your head to avoid laziness. Adopt an ageless attitude. Get inspired by women over 50 who are high energy, following their passion, loving life!

This is a continual practice, but effective self-talk and affirmations can have a positive impact.  That’s what I did to get myself running again. I journaled about how much better I feel when I run regularly. Then when I caught myself using excuses, I reminded myself that “I am a runner. Runners run.” And that got me going. The key is to catch yourself when you’re using excuses, either aloud or to yourself. Then be intentional with your self-talk.

Try repeating positive affirmations and phrases like:

* I am guided by my soul toward my highest expansion. (This is my favorite, regular affirmation.)
* Doing what needs to be done gets me closer to my goals.
* I only have to work on this for ___ minutes. (This is a great mindset trick to get you started, like Twyla Tharp’s taxi ride.)
* It’s never too late to follow my inspiration. Age is just a number. I am vibrant, divinely guided, inspired.

8. Get some rest if you’re feeling lazy in midlife.

If you’re truly tired, rest might be the best medicine. Eat a healthy meal and get the rest you need. A little fresh air and some exercise might be beneficial, too. Make your physical health a priority. It’s easier to avoid laziness when you’re not exhausted.

9. Consider the consequences of being lazy in midlife.

Many midlife women have put off following their passions or pursuing personal goals for many years while they focus on family and careers. But something happens in our 50’s. It’s a common theme among the women I work with, this realization that time could be running out to do all those things that have been on the back burner.

We don’t want regrets as we near the end of our lives. When you’re feeling lazy, consider the consequences of not doing ‘the thing’ yet again. Maybe the trade-off of taking a small step now will outweigh the regret you might feel in the future. This might provide the motivation you need to become action oriented.

You don’t need to feel lazy in midlife

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that it’s normal to feel lazy, lethargic, or tired in midlife. Yes, women over 50 experience hormonal and psychological changes that can make us feel lethargic. But it shouldn’t be the norm.

If you need a jumpstart to get out of a rut, consider getting support. Schedule a 20 minute call with me to explore how coaching can help you set goals, create small steps that you can track, and have accountability to motivate you. Or get a friend to join you and create your own challenge and reward system to get started together.

Overcoming laziness is a valuable skill that gets easier after each successful avoidance. You’ll soon discover the strategies and mindset tricks that work for you. The hardest part is getting started. So pick one thing you can do today. You got this!

The post Feeling Lazy in Midlife? 9 Ways to Reenergize appeared first on Cara Moulds.

Affirmations are simple statements we can use to improve our self-esteem, help us reach a goal, break a bad habit, find love, or even discover joy in our lives in the midst of this chaos. Positive affirmations work hand in hand with our subconscious to make lasting changes for the better.

Here are 6 examples of positive affirmations and how they can improve your life:

1. “I’m worthy of feeling happy, appreciated, valued, and happy.

This positive affirmation reminds us that we’re deserving of being happy. If you’re feeling dejected or worthless, this affirmation can work wonders. It’s not about material objects or money; it’s about feeling worthy of being happy, feeling appreciated and valued, taking time for yourself.

* By using this affirmation on a consistent basis and coupling it with an open heart, you’ll see results. You’ll realize that you’re more than deserving of happiness and joy.

2. “I experience ease and flow.”

Are you feeling stuck in a rut or completely stressed out? This is an effective positive affirmation that helps you to release all that tension.

* This affirmation helps you remember your connection to the universe and source energy so the joy that’s present can shine through.

3. “I see the beauty in my surroundings and I radiate love and joy.”

This positive affirmation will help you to notice all that’s beautiful in this world. It will also teach you how to spread love and joy to those around you.

* You can enjoy everything this world has to offer; all you have to do is give yourself permission to celebrate!

4. “I now choose thoughts that nourish and support me in a loving manner.”

This will tell your subconscious that you’re serious and you want to make good, positive changes in your life.

* This affirmation helps you open your mind to constructive thoughts so you can celebrate all the joys that life has to offer you.

5. “I can relax and accept the good that I know I deserve in my life.”

This is a positive affirmation that will help with your stress and patience.

* No matter how long it may take, you can be confident that only good things await you.

* Even though you may be completely stressed out, this affirmation will help you to relax and slow down.

6. “I take time regularly to do the things that I love to do; I follow my heart and I am happy.”

This positive affirmation celebrates someone very important – you! You take the time to make yourself a priority and honor your own self-care!

* To be happy is extremely important. Joy will fill your heart when you recite this affirmation frequently.

No matter what is going on around you, even in this global pandemic, you can find moments of joy if you choose to focus on it. Using affirmations to discover the joys in your life allows you to refocus your life to a point where you can be happy again. Practice positive affirmations on a regular basis and celebrate all the joy that this life has to offer!

The post Using Affirmations to Discover the Joys in Your Life appeared first on Cara Moulds.

Yes, everyone suffers from at least a little self-doubt, but I’ve seen so many smart, accomplished, confident women hit midlife and suddenly question their ability to try new things, to be creative, or even to figure out what to do with their life!

If you’re noticing this in yourself, here are some strategies to help you overcome self-doubt so you can move forward for your best midlife!

1. Join a women’s circle group.

It’s easy to get caught in a downward spiral of negative thoughts. I’ve been hosting women’s circles for several years now. Being in circle with other women helps you realize that most everyone else is having the same negative thoughts! We all, at some point during this midlife transition, think we’re too old to try something new. We think we’re too fat, too tired. We all think we can’t get focused or organized or follow-through on anything and our brain-fog will never go away.

It helps to hear that every other woman is going through similar experiences. When you see that smart, accomplished women whom you admire are doubting themselves, and you know it isn’t true about them! That helps you to realize that it isn’t true about you either!

(My online women’s circles are intimate, invitation-only to my email subscribers. You can subscribe here.)

2. Do it anyway!

Self-doubt is only as limiting as you let it be. Just because you doubt yourself, doesn’t mean you have to stop yourself from trying new things. Self-doubt doesn’t have to be limiting at all if you can move past it and take courageous action anyway.

Taking action, even small steps, will spark your confidence and remind you of how capable you are, in spite of all the things hitting you at midlife that can make you feel otherwise.

3. Stop worrying about what other people think.

This is one of the greatest rewards of being a woman over 50, if you can get to it. The happiest women I know have learned that most of the time, other people aren’t really that concerned with you! Or that they will celebrate and cheer with you if you try something new. But mostly that other people aren’t thinking about you as negatively as you think about yourself.

4. Develop optimism and trust the universe.

Optimism is the opposite of self-doubt. If you trust that the universe, or a higher power, is guiding you, then no matter what happens, it’s a learning experience for your higher expansion. A mantra I remember to use when self-doubt hits is: Things are always working out for me. You may not know how, and you may not get the results you expected, but trusting that it is all unfolding FOR you, rather than TO you, is a powerful way to overcome self-doubt.

5. Know and accept yourself.

Self-doubt can arise when you feel lost and disconnected from your authentic Self and your own true, inner power. This is why it’s so important to have rituals and practices that bring you back to that connection. Daily. Because being in the world can overwhelm us with stress and make us feel inadequate. It’s especially important while going through your midlife transition that you have ways to be present and mindful, to remember who you truly are.

6. Focus on small wins to overcome self-doubt.

If you have big goals, especially for soul-calling desires that you want to bring into the world, it’s easy to fall into the overwhelm trap and feel self-doubt. If you want to write a book, launch a creative business, or move to another country… those are huge, daunting projects. It’s easy to give up before you even start, especially with all the other things going on at midlife.

It sounds trite to say “focus on small wins” and for years I discounted the power of it. I’ve always been a planner-girl and love goal setting and project management, but when you break down big goals into targets and don’t meet them, it can be depressing.

One of the best things I’ve done is to start using planners that have monthly and quarterly check-ins built into the planner. My favorites are Get to Work Book and Powersheets. At the end of each month, those planners force me to acknowledge the wins, big or small.

Without a system, it’s easy to focus on all the things that didn’t get done.  But I’ve realized how powerful it is to look back over each month and take time to acknowledge all the things I did get done, no matter how small. It’s a complete shift from beating yourself up to becoming your own cheerleader. Try it!

7.  Use positive affirmations & journaling

Create a ritual that includes positive affirmations and journaling to overcome self-doubt. I believe so strongly in the power of these tools, especially for midlife women going through transition, that I started creating my own. You can download 10 of them immediately. Each one has 3 journaling prompts for deep reflection.

I’ve been doing some variation of morning pages for over 20 years. These are based on Julia Cameron’s idea for writing 3 pages of longhand every morning when you first wake up. You can combine this practice with reading affirmations or something else that inspires you to remember your power. A Course in Miracles is a good book to read in small snippets each morning for deep spiritual expansion.

Self-doubt is a natural part of our midlife awakening

Dealing with self-doubt is part of the human experience. This is especially true for women when we hit the existential crisis that launches our midlife awakening. This is a time of huge shifts and transformations for us, with so many unknowns to work through.

We are reconnecting with our deepest, truest selves that may have been buried for many years. Overcoming self-doubt is a huge step toward self-actualization and your spiritual expansion.

Is self-doubt holding you back from following your passions or accomplishing your goals? Reach out and let’s connect. I spent many years holding myself back and know what it’s like to agonize over time being wasted in self-doubt. I don’t want that for you. It’s time for YOU to know what it feels like to be fired up and confident!

Book a complimentary 30 minute call

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The key to using positive affirmations

The key to using positive affirmations is to choose the ones you can believe in that will refocus you on what IS possible. We all have statements running on autopilot in our minds, statements that we’ve absorbed from our culture and upbringing. Many of them are not serving us at all.

However, we can’t just talk ourselves into believing something we don’t believe. We have to acknowledge the negative thought and consciously choose a phrase we CAN believe.

One of the most powerful experiences in midlife is beginning to recognize those autopilot statements, sometimes for the first time in your life, and to realize that they aren’t “true.” Positive affirmations can help you rediscover YOUR Truth, the truth you lost over a lifetime of conditioning.

Here are 5 positive affirmations for midlife women to find happiness:

1. “I’m worth it!” This positive affirmation reminds you that you’re deserving of time spent on you, of time spent exploring what makes you happy. If you’re a midlife woman feeling dejected or worthless, or guilty for spending time on self-care, this affirmation can work wonders.

* By using this affirmation on a consistent basis and coupling it with an open heart, you’ll see results. You’ll realize that you’re more than deserving of happiness and joy regardless of your age.

2. “I’m willing to experience ease & flow in this situation.” Are you feeling stuck in rut or completely stressed out? This is an effective positive affirmation that helps you to release all that tension. You can tap into being willing to see it even when you aren’t experiencing it yet.

* This affirmation helps you rid your mind of negativity so the joy that IS present can shine through.

3. “I see the beauty in my surroundings and I radiate love and joy.” This positive affirmation will help you to notice all that’s beautiful in this world. It will also teach you how to spread love and joy to those around you.

* You can enjoy everything this world has to offer; all you have to do is tap into your heart-centered energy!

4. “I now choose thoughts that nourish and support me in a loving manner.” This will tell your subconscious that you’re serious and you want to make good, positive changes in your life.

* This affirmation helps you open your mind to constructive thoughts and shifts you out of ‘monkey-mind’ and into mindfulness.

5. “I take time regularly to do the things that I love to do; when I follow my heart, I am thriving.” This positive affirmation celebrates someone very important – you! You take the time to make yourself a priority and you’re an active player in your life!

* Focus on your heart energy and wrap yourself in self-love with this affirmation.

How can you use positive affirmations in your life?

It’s normal to feel disconnected from yourself and stressed by deep questions about life during midlife. And that’s on top of the hormonal roller coaster of menopause and the challenging dynamics of family and career changes. Positive affirmations can help you to refocus away from the stress and get back to your inner wisdom.

Practice positive affirmations with deep breathing and journaling on a regular basis to reconnect to your inner divinity. The hardest part is to start using them when you find yourself thinking negative thoughts.

I’d love to know if you already use positive affirmations and if you have favorites. Share your comments below.

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You don’t need to practice mindfulness on an Olympic-level.

You can achieve results with as little as 10 to 20 minutes per day.

Follow these easy steps to practice mindfulness meditation:

1. Start out with a quiet place. For mindfulness or any form of meditation, you can practice anywhere at anytime. However, the easiest place is a quiet one, free from any distractions.
   • Some places that you may be able to practice include in your car, at home, or even at work if you have a private office atmosphere.
2. Get comfortable. Many people sit in a lotus-style type of position, in which you sit cross-legged with the feet resting on the opposing thighs. This is not necessary, however.
   • You can sit cross-legged with your feet resting underneath your knees. Feel free to sit in a desk chair, on the floor, or any seat where you can get comfortable for a few minutes.
3. Close your eyes and take several slow breaths, focusing on inhaling and exhaling deeply. Do this several times.
   • You’ll become more relaxed as your muscles and cells receive more oxygen and your mind slows down.
   • Continue paying attention to the air that’s coming in and going out.
4. Notice physical sensations. As you focus on the air you take in and let out, also notice the sensations throughout your body.
   • Pay attention to the weight of your body in your seat, noticing whether you’re perhaps leaning further to the right or to the left. Pay attention to your body’s temperature — do you feel warm, cool, or in the middle?
5. Listen to the noises around you. Just let the noises be and notice their presence.
   • Whether it’s the whistling of the fan, the hum of the air conditioner or heater, or the chatter of people’s voices outside, just notice that these sounds are also present during your meditation.
6. Notice when your mind wanders. It’s perfectly normal – especially for beginners – to wander off in thought, thinking about this, that, or another thing that pops into your mind.
   • When your mind wanders, just quietly bring your attention and awareness back to your breath, noticing the air slowly going in and going out.
7. End your mindfulness session when you’re ready. Slowly open your eyes. Stretch. What do you feel at this moment in time? Are you more relaxed, calmer, or more focused?

When you first start mindfulness meditation, you’ll most likely find it difficult, if not impossible, to keep your mind from wandering. However, as you get more practice, it becomes easier to clear your mind and focus on your breath.

The key is to practice it consistently.

“Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn’t more complicated than that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.”

– Sylvia Boorstein

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