Soul Nagging, Ego Traps, & Magical Living

For years, I’ve been driving past the sign that says “Book Your Meeting Here.”  It’s at the end of my street, so I pass it at least twice, sometimes as many as 8 times a day. It’s an ad for a hidden gem, a little miracle in the middle of Marriottsville.  The Sisters of Bon Secours Spiritual Center.

I’ve been hiking to Bon Secours for years, taking photos of the rock stacks and walking the labyrinth.  After I started meditating and fully embraced my own spiritual journey, I started thinking, “Wouldn’t it be cool to have a retreat here one day.”  It was a distant, vague idea that I mostly ignored even though I passed that sign every day.

Soul Nagging

Then one night there was an accident: a car plowed into the sign, completely destroying it. I drove by the rubble of broken stones and never once thought about retreats.  Months later, the sign was finished, and it wasn’t just a replacement sign.  Bon Secours had gone high-tech and put in one of those multi-colored electronic signs! Now Book Your Meeting Here was in bright green letters six times a day. My inner voice started nudging me again. Louder. In neon green. Daily.

I asked my colleague, Rus VanWestervelt, if he’d be willing to visit the place and consider doing retreats together. He agreed to come look at it, but the only time he was available was when I already had a client scheduled.  He would go alone.

Things Fall Into Place

On the day of his appointment, my client emailed that morning asking if she could change her time. Yeah!! Perfect serendipity. I could go with Rus to see the center.  I showed him the labyrinth with the meditative benches around it. He looked through the journal they keep for public use, where you can write your thoughts after you’ve finished your walk.  We walked the meandering paths to the Peace Garden and then watched butterflies on crepe myrtles and koi in the huge pond.

He fell in love with the place and definitely wanted to do retreats and courses there.  We discussed logistics, activities, possibilities. We both wanted Sundays, but thought that might not be available because larger groups would have the place for the weekend.  We were hemming and hawing.
“How do you schedule a meeting? Is it online or something?” he whispered, because when you’re at Bon Secours, you speak in hushed tones. It’s that sacred.

“There’s a phone number you call,” I said, because I knew it, having seen it on the sign a million times.

“Let’s see if we can talk to the person right now,” he said.

Ego Trap #1

Now at this point, either of us could have fallen into the ego traps. The resistance that keeps you from creating your art, that stops you from living fearlessly. During the week, we had both wondered about the logistics of doing a course or retreat there. Would we need insurance? Bonding? An LLC? A business license?  How expensive is it going to be? All these ego questions that put up road blocks to stop you from moving forward.

But in that moment, we were both feeling the energy of the place, feeling aligned with the possibilities and the rightness of it.  So we walked back to the main building and went inside.

“We’re interested in possibly renting a conference room?” we told the receptionist. Off she went to see if the person we needed to talk to was available.

And this is when the magic really starts…

She was. We sat in her office and chatted like old friends. The price was reasonable. They had small rooms for small groups. We hesitatingly asked about Sundays.

“Oh, Sundays would be the easiest day to get you in. Most of our groups are checking out on Sundays.”  Rus and I were beaming.  “Let’s go check out the room.”

She led us to their smallest room. It was ok, comfortable but kind of dark.

Ego Trap #2

In the past, my ego would have been hitting the brakes here, because that’s what the ego does and I used to listen. I would have been listening to a tape of negativity in my head about that room, how it was too small, too narrow, too dark, too “wrong” for what we wanted. The ego tries to prevent us from stepping out of our comfort zone.

But now I’ve spent years retraining myself, staying focused, looking for the positives, holding my energy high.  “It would be nice for the opening meditation,” I said to Rus, who agreed.

Then, in a moment of inspiration…

the coordinator said, “You know, I want to show you something else.  I just have a feeling about this. I think you’ll like it. It’s not really a “room” and we don’t usually rent it.  But I can.  And I just have a feeling that it would be perfect for you.”

And with that, she led us through a maze of hallways, up an elevator, down another corridor that ended with a door. “Here it is,” she said, swinging the door open.

I gasped. I could barely move, I was so overcome by the beauty and surprise of it.  She had led us to a sunroom on the third floor, with a whole wall of windows overlooking thousands of acres of Patapsco State Park. It was one of the most magnificent views I’ve ever seen. At that moment, I KNEW that we were meant to have retreats here and that things would fall into place for this first program.

At that moment, I knew I was dancing with the universe, living in total fluidity with source energy. It feels magical when that happens. It’s all about following the breadcrumbs, doing what’s in front of you, not trying to figure it all out on your own.

Most importantly, it’s about taking leaps of faith. Small risks. Not worrying about what other people will think. ASKING. Listening for answers.

What leap of faith will you take today?